Today was my last day of high school.
This day wasn’t ever supposed to come. It was supposed to be one of those days that is always talked about, but is never a part of my own reality. And it was most definitely not supposed to be followed by such an unexpected rush of emotions.
I can’t possibly explain my feelings right now. To be honest, I really don’t understand them myself. This day was absolutely perfect. I got to spend time with some of the most wonderful people that I’ve been lucky enough to know these past four years. The blow-out assembly was more than what I expected, with so much talent expressed, joy remembered, and tears fallen. Senior ‘dip-day’ ended my best year of high school with constant laughs and an overall unforgettable experience.
It’s so difficult for me to write about this. My emotions are so ambiguous. I’m remarkably excited for the next chapter in my life at Belmont University, but I’ve recently been thinking about everyone in California that is going to make moving across the country so unimaginably tough. All of these people that I can’t even bear to think about living without will be 2,000 miles away from me. It’s a terrifying thought, really. I’ve been blessed with some of the greatest friends, and I never really thought that I would ever ACTUALLY have to say good bye. It’s so much harder than I thought it would be.
Such a drastic change has never taken place in my own life, so it feels as if everything around me is being dumped upside down, and I have no way of slowing down the process or setting things ‘straight’ again. There’s absolutely nothing that I can do, and that scares me to death.
There’s always a benefit, though: All of this is reminding me to put my trust in the Lord. These changes may be exactly what I need right now. Everything will work out for His purpose, so it may seem difficult, but I know that it only feels this way for a reason that I can’t fully understand at this point in my life. God has a plan that I can’t comprehend, so being able to put my trust in Him during such a frightening time is the best kind of comfort that I could possibly ask for. Nothing else in my life may be the same when August 20th rolls around, but “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
It’s truly the best feeling knowing that the Lord of the universe will be right by my side through all of this. As hard as it may be to leave California, I know that God has me going to Tennessee for a reason, so I’m grateful for all of the memories that I’ve been blessed with and will be blessed with in whatever may come of the future.
It feels like the end, but life is only just beginning!